At times I feel bad that I don’t update much anymore. I have to say that it is nice that I find I have very little to say these days. Everything has become very routine with the few medical problems she does have.
Today was a day that got me to thinking about how everything has changed for us. I know I have said some of this before. I am not sure if it was here or over on her caringbridge site. Either way I am going to say it again because today I added something to my list.
Cancer took so many things from us. It robbed Jacey of her youth. It denied her the chance of continued innocence to the world at such a young age. She has stared death in the eye more than one time and overcome more things than most people will in a full lifetime. Today I found myself recalling how she innocently asked if I thought we would be invited to the funeral when her first cancer friend passed.
Cancer did however give me an unexpected gift. I have gotten to relive many once in a lifetime moments with her. They meant so much more the second time. Seeing her eyes for the first time, watching her take her first breaths, hearing her speak her first words, and watching her take her first steps. Today we added one I never thought I would get again. Well it hasn’t happened yet but Thursday will be her first day of school.
Online schooling has been horrible for her. She has such a need for the social interaction with her peers. It was not part of the plan to have to her return until High School. She has just been so down and depressed lately that I could not put this off any longer for her. She is so excited and I am so very happy for her. I know I will miss her deeply. I have gotten soused to her always being here at my side. This is the best thing for her though and I know that. She does not have a peer group in our neighborhood and her face just lit up today as we were visiting the school.
Other news is Justin did have what we hope to be his final surgery. It was canceled and rescheduled a few times but it finally happened about two weeks ago. He has recovered well and is getting the last of his stitches out tomorrow. This has been a hectic school year for him. He decided that he wanted to do online schooling for his senior year. It has been a rough start between his surgery and his grandfather having a sudden illness and passing away. He is working through it all and might pass a class or two. He is very much like his father and my brother when it comes to school work though. I take a lot of deep breaths before I yell these days.
I am also thinking it might be time to update her website a bit so I am working on that. I added her pictures from Camp Quality to the galleries. The rest I will need to talk to my brother about as I have not much of an idea as to how to do it.
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