RockingJuJu

Sorry for the lack of updates. It has been a crazy week between both of the kids. I know everyone has been waiting to hear about Jacey's Heart and I am very sorry that I haven't made the time to update everyone.

Okay I guess we got good news from the Heart Specialist. There is indeed a hole in Jacey's heart and it is a PFO like they had originally thought. The doctor was very nice and (maybe had been warned that I am a crazy mom...lol) that he took us and showed us the actually ultra sound pics and video of Jacey's heart. He pointed out to us where the blue and red blood was mixing together and assured us that it was a VERY small amount. He said that at this time there was no need to fix it but it would likely be something that will need corrected later in life. They will just continue to watch it and we will continue to hope that the size doesn't change.

Speaking of hoping things don't grow we were also at the Eye Specialist this week. There hasn't been any change in the size so all is well with that.

Justin is doing really good and is still healing from his surgery. He is looking great and has started eating us out of house and home again. They have removed all of his bandages but his nose is still draining a little so he has been keeping a gauze under his nose. He looks worse than he feels because he still has some swelling and nice yellow bruises. I keep telling him I won't know him when he is all healed up because he is also going to ditch his glasses for contacts. My little boy is not so little anymore. I am really glad he has dealt with this all so well.

Justin is feeling a little better today. He is trying to stay awake a little today. I have moved the chair as close to the television as I can so he can see it. It will be a rough week as he starts to feel better and better. I know I would go crazy not being able to see. He tried to put his glasses on today but they were sitting so far away from his eyes it just made it worse.

Jacey is having a slightly hard time seeing her brother bandaged up. She has been spending a lot of time in her room and I finally asked her why. She told me he just doesn't look like Justin. I agree with her but I also think he looks so cute. He has been pretty pleasant and it is actually nice to have all the one on one time with him.

The last 24 hrs have been stressful. Jacey decided to have a famous Jacey melt down about spending the night with my brother. I knew it was going to happen but had some how hoped that Jacey would just be fine with it and go along with the plan. I really had no choice but to have her stay because Justin had to be at the hospital at 6 AM today and that would have left Jacey home alone for about an hour to wait for the bus. She couldn't stay with her dad because he was so kindly going to the hospital with me and I am very grateful for that. It took a lot of coaxing that of course led to screaming to get Jacey to even come out of her room. Then it was battle after battle to move her from the couch to the car, then from the car to inside my brother's house and then I had to fight my way past her to leave to go rescue Justin who had called telling me he had a flat tire. It was very emotionally exhausting for both her and I. Then it took me forever to try to figure out where Justin was because he really just didn't know. All he knew was that he hit a pot hole and had a flat tire. Funny thing was this had just happened about 3 weeks ago to Phil and he got 2 flat tires. It was hard to believe that it was happening again.

Justin had some friends come over last night and they stayed up playing video games all night. I am glad they were able to be here as I am sure it was relieving some of the anxiety that Justin was having about surgery today. I tossed and turned all night worrying if Jacey was giving my brother a fit and hoping that she wasn't having a panic attack.

Justin felt a little ill after we dropped his friends off this morning. I am sure it was just nerves but we have all be sharing a nasty cold. Jacey of course had gotten the worst of it and I just started hoping that Justin wasn't going to spike a fever. Thank goodness all was fine when we got him to the hospital. They were slightly concerned about the stuffiness and cough that he had but his lungs were clear. I think everyone knows what a long road it has been to get this surgery scheduled and it would have really been awful if they would have had to cancel it over a cold.

Justin did really well and was very glad that his dad was there. Him and his dad played a card game as we waiting for them to get the okay from all the different doctors. He was nervous about going back to the operating room and wasn't thrilled that they said they were just going to start an IV versus giving him a mask to go to sleep. I was slightly worried that he may have his own melt down but when they came he got up and went with out a fight.

The surgery was scheduled to last 2 hours. It has been some time since he has had such a long surgery. I have my own built in panic mode that seems to hit while I am sitting in the waiting room. Not many fond memories if you know what I mean. I was fine until the 2 hrs were nearly up and then I started to worry a little. This worry became almost overwhelming as the 2 hr time came and went. I was just about in full panic mode when it had been nearly 3 hrs. I guess what had happened was the doctor was just so busy he didn't have time to come out and talk with us. All went well with the surgery.

Justin is home now and sleeping. I guess we will see how the next few days go. Something we had not giving a whole lot of thought to prior to surgery was how Justin was going to be able to see after surgery. It will not be possible for him to wear his glasses until they take the splint off of his nose and that is not happening until next Thursday. I am sure we will come up with something but I am open to any suggestions anyone may have at this point.

Now that I have went on and on about that I feel like I should mention for those of you that don't know that Justin was born with a cleft lip and palate. He has been having corrective surgeries through out his life to correct his birth defect. He has an abosulety amazing surgeon and I am very grateful for that.

Many thanks to Phil for being with me and helping out with getting Justin's meds and hopefully dealing with getting Justin's car home today. A huge thank you to my brother and his wife for taking Jacey on for me. I am really sorry if she gave you any grief.

If you want to see a picture of Justin after surgery just click the read more below. They are not gross or anything just bandages.

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So much going on all the time. My brain doesn't know which way it is going. I have some personal stuff going on that is just adding to the stress of everything else. If you have seen my sanity I really need it back.

Justin is getting surgery Wednesday. He is looking forward to that so it does help that he is fighting me over it. The last time he had surgery I had to physically drag him out of the car. I am not kidding either. He wouldn't move and when I went to grab him out of the car he grabbed the steering wheel and wouldn't let go. I then had to carry him through the hospital kicking and screaming. He calmed down for a bit until they came to him back to surgery and then he grabbed my neck and wouldn't let go. They had to pull him off of me and hold him to the bed and off to surgery he went screaming for me to save him. So yes I am very glad that he is older and we are going to skip all of that this time around. This may very well be the last of his surgeries and it will be nice to see that chapter of our lives come to a close, well for the most part.

Jacey is sick yet again. Running a fever of 101, complaining that her ears are hurting, her throat is sore and she can barely breath with all the fluid in her chest. The doctor couldn't get her in today so hopefully she will not get worse before tomorrow. I have to wonder if her immune system will ever return to "normal". There is no question that chemo causes changes to your immune system but I guess I never thought it would be life long.

I keep telling myself things can always be worse. It is not helping much but I keep saying it anyway. I just feel like life is spinning out of control and I keep grasping trying to get a grip but it is just spinning to fast for me to hold on.

Yes it seems that all our life events revolve around Jesse McCartney but what can I say. The boy makes Jacey feel like she is on cloud nine! She says she has moved passed being in love with him because he is more like a brother but you can trust me she doesn't like her own brother that much.

Today is a very special day for Jacey and Jesse. Jacey has been in remission for 2 YEARS!!! Can you see me doing a small happy dance? Still somethings to deal with but we will take them all for now and grin and bare it. Jesse's new video made its world premiere today. Jacey thinks this is so cool that it happened on her big day. You can take a look at his new video on Yahoo Music or by following this link  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LYMDXK9ZpxQ

Incase you didn't know we traveled to Washington DC last week to see Jesse while he was out doing the Radio Promotional tour for his new album. That made Jacey HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY! Click read more to see the latest picture of Jacey and Jesse. I have yet to get them into the galleries but I will soon!

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