RockingJuJu

Yippee Jacey went back to school today! Just as I was about to give up that she was ever going to get better she finally started to get better Saturday. It was nice to see her felling better and not looking like someone had punched her in the eyes. She wasn't really looking forward to going back to school because she didn't want to be questioned about being sick. She has said on more than one occasion that she just wants to be like everyone else. She has missed more school in the last month than she has all year. She will also being missing another day soon to spend the day at the hospital being hooked to every machine they have. Sounds like a ton of fun doesn't it.

I am up to my eyeballs in insurance today. Justin's surgery is most likely moments away from being cancelled. I was on the phone with the insurance company and they need the surgery code so I had no choice but to call the doctor's office. I had to leave a message and begged them to give me a chance to get this pushed through before they cancel his surgery again. I am now waiting for a call back from them. I am hoping that Phil is going to let me know if his company is changing insurance today. I am almost hoping that they aren't. As much as I have whined about his current insurance I finally have everything worked out with them and all the doctors Jacey needs to see are covered. I am not looking forward to having to battle it out with a new company.

Little Miss Jacey has been home from school all week. She is sick of being sick, I am sick of her being sick. I am sure the school is sick of her being sick as well even though I suspect they think she is faking it. I really wanted to send her to school today just so they could look at her and see how sick she really is. She just felt so awful this morning that I couldn't bring myself to do it so I guess they will just have to go on thinking we are lying about it. I should have had the doctor write her a letter explaining what was going on but I didn't want to take up any more of her time. By the way she is sick of seeing us as well. I am also sick of giving her money every time I turn around as well as the pharmacy.

As you may remember Jacey had ruptured both of her ear drums about 3 weeks ago. The doctor put her on meds and made us swear that we wouldn't get one drop of water in her ears for the next 3 weeks. I can wash my own hair and manage not to get water in my ears but for some reason this is much harder to do on someone else. Jacey hair has been rather funky for the last few weeks to say the least. Jacey took her meds and all was well. We were just days away from the 3 week mark and what happens? Her left her decides to rupture again. Her appointment was so soon that I just decided to wait to take her and not call and make another appointment. Then out of now where she wakes up with both of her eyes crusted shut. Her eyes are all swollen and puffy and it really looks like someone punched her in both eyes. Her vision is blurry and they burn. So off to the doctor we go. The doctor decides to look at the right ear first to see how it is doing and before she can even get a good look she is saying, "Oh my lord!" Apparently it is only a matter of time before the right ear is going to rupture again. She looks at the left ear and lets out a nice loud EWWWE! She can't believe that her ears are in such bad shape after a dose of meds. She looks at her eyes and tells us that it is just an infection that is being caused by all the stuff going on with her ears. She writes us a few prescriptions and tells us she will see us again in 3 more weeks.

So here we are just waiting for Jacey's right ear to do it's thing. Popping pills and dropping drops. I feel so bad for her because you can just see how bad she really feels. She can't hear and can't see. I know she is tried of it all. She hates to miss school because everyone always questions her so much about it. I don't understand why it is such a big deal everyone gets sick! I do see that Jacey gets sick more than others but you can just trust me when I say I would make her stop getting sick if I could. Her body getting run down is not good. It is just opening a door for the leukemia to strike.  And then when things start piling on top of each other it starts me with all kinds of worry.

I clearly am going to have to push to have someone do something about her ears. She has had around 6 ear infections in the last year. Before cancer Jacey had maybe one at the most two ear infections in her entire life. I am adding it to my list of things to talk with the doctors about when we go to the clinic in 2 weeks. Don't get me wrong I am SOOOO GRATEFUL that Jacey has thus far beaten cancer but it just amazes me how many things about her are broken now. I guess it is more that we just want it all to be behind us but just can't shake it because there seems to always be something waiting for us around every little corner.

Other late breaking news. Justin has finally gotten what everyone would refer to as a real job. I am not sure how much he is going to like it but I know he will enjoy making so much more money. It will be nice not having to deliver the paper EVERYDAY. I am probably looking more forward to the end of that than anyone because I can tell you I have only had about 4-5 days off the whole time. He got a call yesterday from Fishers and has to go in next Friday to fill out paper work. I guess we  find out then more about his schedule. For now we know that he will be working at the Cherry Ave store. That brings back some memories because that is where his father worked when I met him. Jacey is now taking voice lessons and loves it. She had to miss them this week because she was sick. She is also doing another play and is really excited about that. I will get the info up about that soon so keep checking her acting page for that. The children are also rejoicing that I have finally had to turn the furnace on. Not that they have been freezing but the there is a big difference between real heat and wood burner stove heat. I am very grateful for that stove though. I hate messing with it ALL the time but I am glad that I have not had to try to figure out how to pay the gas bill this year.  I am still not ready to leave it on though so I think their happy dance will be very short lived.

Jacey is doing GREAT! Her wound is healing and looking wonderful. She has been pretty happy lately and it just warms my heart to she her returning to her old self. Not everyday is a great day but they are coming more often. She has 2 friends over for a sleep-over tonight. They are running through the house filling it with the sweet sound of screaming girls. This sound normally drives me crazy but tonight I am just very happy to be hearing it.

She is growing up so fast here lately. The chemo aged her a good 2 years. When I look at her it is hard to believe that she is only 11, but in my mind I can't believe that she is ALREADY 11. She has taken to spending more time by herself. She is making great use of the lock on her door and tells me to go away more than she invites me to stay. I remember when Justin went through this stage and I am hoping it passes quickly with Jacey. I miss her talking with me and wanting to snuggle. Those days are probably long gone though.

I am just emotional today I guess. I feel a heaviness in my heart for those who have lost their children to this monster. I so badly want to the next 3 years to fly by just so I can leave this fear of losing her behind me. I just cherish every moment that I get to see her smile. I know it drives her crazy but I can't help it.

Jacey is doing GREAT! Her wound is healing and looking wonderful. She has been pretty happy lately and it just warms my heart to she her returning to her old self. Not everyday is a great day but they are coming more often. She has 2 friends over for a sleep-over tonight. They are running through the house filling it with the sweet sound of screaming girls. This sound normally drives me crazy but tonight I am just very happy to be hearing it.

She is growing up so fast here lately. The chemo aged her a good 2 years. When I look at her it is hard to believe that she is only 11, but in my mind I can't believe that she is ALREADY 11. She has taken to spending more time by herself. She is making great use of the lock on her door and tells me to go away more than she invites me to stay. I remember when Justin went through this stage and I am hoping it passes quickly with Jacey. I miss her talking with me and wanting to snuggle. Those days are probably long gone though.

I am just emotional today I guess. I feel a heaviness in my heart for those who have lost their children to this monster. I so badly want to the next 3 years to fly by just so I can leave this fear of losing her behind me. I just cherish every moment that I get to see her smile. I know it drives her crazy but I can't help it.

I had sat down before and wrote a long update but the computer ate it when I went to post it, so I will try again.

I did get Jacey to the doctor and was not very surprised when the doctor said that yes both of her eardrums had ruptured. She is on meds to help them heal and is no longer having any pain. The hardest part of it all is that her ears must stay 100% dry until they are completely healed. This has made washing her hair a ton of fun.

Monday Jacey and I headed to the doctor to get her stitch out. I couldn't believe that it was only one but that was it. Her spot is gone and in its place is a line that is about 2 inches long. Jacey said she likes the scar better than the spot. The doctor also told us that the report showed no sign of cancer! This is wonderful news. The doctor said that the spot was most likely caused by the chemo (big shock). It was best that we had it removed because even though it was not cancer now it could have been in the future. I am so very happy that it is gone! I have posted pictures of the spot finally so if you never got to see it it is in the gallery now.

Jacey got to go with Phil up to see her cousins this past weekend. She had a really nice time. It is good for her to get to spend time with Phil for the long car ride there. It has been sometime since she had been up to see them.

Jacey has been in remission for 22 months now. She does not have an appointment at the clinic until next month. They will be running every test possible to see if she has any late effects that have just not been major enough to show up yet. I must say that I would rather just skip the whole thing. I don't need to hear that chemo has done anything else to her poor body. We have been very lucky as far as major organ damage has went. There was a time that I never thought her kidneys and lung would ever recover. I am glad to be past all of that and off all of the meds. She has a rather long list of things she wants to talk to the doctors about. Meaning that she will look at me and have me tell them. She will be seeing a new team of doctors this time. She is not often fond of new doctors.

Justin decided to get sick this past weekend and he is now on several different meds but was able to get back to school today. I have paperwork laying on my desk for his surgery that I need to get filled out. It is not looking good that it is going to get done. His dad has again changed jobs and this means new insurance again. I am waiting for him to call me with the new insurance info so I can see if I can get them to push the approval through. Once I call the doctor with this information they will instantly take him off of the schedule so I am trying to prevent that from happening. I wish I had pushed Justin more to have it done over winter break but at the same time I understood that he didn't want to it done then. If it doesn't get done now Justin is going to be VERY upset because we will have no choice but to push it back until summer and then he will be looking at a whole summer with out being able to swim because he has to keep it dry for 6-8 weeks. It also just makes it hard to work it around his vacation schedule with Gramma & his dad.

There are a few new pictures in the gallery other than the one of her spot. I have a few more that I am needing to get put up but have not yet found the time to do so yet.